she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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