try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
