Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
