I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
