Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
