She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
