I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
