I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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