I faked an abortion last night.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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