he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
