Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
