Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he shaved USA in his pubs
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
