What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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