He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
