So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize