I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
