a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
