Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
