Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
