sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
