I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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