That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
