At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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