literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
