you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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