I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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