Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
