Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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