Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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