I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
