I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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