i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
