Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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