You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize