you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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