My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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