Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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