when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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