There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
