small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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