Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
