3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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