I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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