girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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