i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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