Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
