I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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