So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
