I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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