If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My pussy is not your playground.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
