you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
don't judge my taste in strippers
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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