i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
