if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
