i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
