Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize