the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
