Christians are straight up FREAKS
so that wasnt chicken after all
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
