fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
