There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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