Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
