Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
