so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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